Perfectionism is something a lot of people thrive towards in the current day and age, and who can blame them when we are constantly bombarded with the desire to be perfect everywhere we look? Whether it’s the most flattering angles constantly posted on social media, the pressure to be thinner, or healthier, or more intelligent from advertising, or whether its the constant scrutiny and competing to be the best in your chosen industry, the pressure of perfectionism is all around us, even if we don’t intentionally notice it.
From personal experience, having trained as a Violist and Violinist for the past sixteen years, still studying to improve at my instrument, and experiencing both great concerts and successful auditions as well as failures and mistakes, I have learnt that you will never achieve perfection in every performance, practice session or lesson, and you will certainly never please everyone. The same goes for any other industry, and if perfectionism is what is expected of us, how are we supposed to know or strive to any different? I know it took me longer than it should have to realise this. So how do we confidently deal with being imperfect?
HOLD VALUE IN THE OPINIONS OF THOSE YOU TRUST
This one is particularly important. Not every teacher, mentor or professional in your chosen field will be correct all of the time, helpful to you or know what is best for you. At a young age, we are taught that our seniors (ie teachers and parents etc) always know best. This may be true in many cases, but not all. You can respect everyone’s opinions, but you don’t have to take on board everything you are told.
AVOID DIRECT COMPARISON
I know this is easier said than done. Particularly in music, before auditions when you can hear everyone playing the same piece as you, it’s almost impossible to avoid comparing how others are playing said piece in compareison to you. It is important to remember that you will never perform, write, move or be like anyone else, just like they will never be able to do exactly as you do. For sure, help and encourage others, but always embrace your individuality.
STRIVE TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF
I have found that accepting that the best version of yourself will not be a perfect one is ultimately how to be content. This does not mean you have to give up striving to improve, but aiming for your best is going to make you happier. There is beauty in imperfection, particularly as it usually means you are taking more care over the most important aspects of your art. You can still be the top of your field and be imperfect.
In case you need reminding, there is not a single day that goes by in which you will achieve everything and make no mistakes. The same goes for everyone around you – including those who inspire you. I know I would much rather go and see a concert, theatre production or live performance filled with talent, passion and a few mistakes, than an identical replica of the original with perfectly read lines or notes, but less humanity. Especially in art, there is little use or pleasure for music without emotion or interpretation. Perfectionism does not always equate to the best, so make judgements for yourself, set your own standards, hold value in the opinions of those you trust, and let everything else go.
Hope you all had a lovely Easter.
Until next time,
Abi x